can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
