I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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