come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
