Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
tell me about the eggs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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