i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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