I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
