Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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