Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
