If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize