dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
