2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
