Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
