His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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