what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
