Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
