thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
