Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
