CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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