Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
