girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
