we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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