We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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