Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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