Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
