thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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