His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
