It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
