Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
