Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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