Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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