and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
