Will you blow on my dice?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
