Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
