so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
