my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
