That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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