it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize