please come you make the beer taste better
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
