dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
