He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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