My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
