using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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