Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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