I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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