I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
