I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
