I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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