We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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