2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize