It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
