She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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