i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
