i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ugly people sure do ruin things
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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