I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
