it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
