Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
