hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
