I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
