I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
