my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize